My dear, how will you ever manage? I never eat the peanuts anyway," the old man replies. She died.". Do you like it dark or milky? Consequently, these chocolate jokes can also make your frown turn upside down! Babe, I don't think there's anything hotter than chocolate, until I met you. Theres M&M shells all over the floor. Thomas Jefferson, All of the evil that people have thrust upon chocolate is really more deserved by milk chocolate, which is essentially contaminated. Whos there? Nothing else comes to mind to finish this rhyme, so I'll just spit it out - most importantly, you gave us the Star Wars . Get ready, because you will go ape over these banana puns: 1. Men always leave but chocolate is forever! Chocolate is natures way of making up for Mondays. Ones about Easter eggs theyre morbid! A Choco-Light! A cad-bury. What do cannibals eat for dessert? A Wispa.Knock, knock.Whos there?Candy boy.Candy boy who?Candy boy have another piece of chocolate? You make me feel a lot giddier like I have eaten a box of chocolate. Do you know a bakery around? Q: Why did the complete moron get fired from the M&M factory? A seven-year-old is sitting on a park bench eating a chocolate bar. Surprised, the pope follows up with "He visits every year?! More jokes about: animal, blonde, chocolate, stupid. But he minded his own business.Why did the chocolate bar go to the dentist?He had a chip in his tooth.Why is a Toblerone triangular?So it fits in the box.There are two types of people in this world:People who love chocolate and liars.What is the opposite of Chocolate?Chocoearly.What Christmas carol do candy bars sing?Almond Joy To The World.Why did the Oreo go to the dentist?Because it lost its filling! Q: What do cannibals eat for dessert? Soon she was fondling my Peter Pan and ZagNut and I knew it wouldn't be long before I blew my Milk Duds clear to Mars that gave her a taste of the old Milky Way. I heard you are a chocolate lover I guess we are compatible darling. A little boy was taken to the dentist. One key, not just to keeping weight down and staying guilt-free, but also to keeping taste buds sharp (essential for the professionals who evaluate new products as well as judge recipes), is being discriminating. What is a monkeys favorite cookie? Jack Handey, Deep Thoughts, Saturday Night Live, As with most fine things, chocolate has its season. Nuts just take up space where chocolate ought to be. Today, a guy put a gun to my head and demanded a coconut-filled chocolate bar. EMERGENCY ALERT: If wearer of this shirt is found vacant, listless, or depressed, ADMINISTER CHOCOLATE IMMEDIATELY. Little Truths Q: Why is there no such organization as Chocoholics Anonymous? The smile looks really good on you. One child whispered to another, "Take all you want. Telling deez nuts jokes is a funny way to direct a conversation into utter nonsense! Nursing Home. Girl my taste buds almost always craves for chocolate but now it craves for you. Copy This. Chocolate Jokes. What is an astronauts favorite chocolate? Thats why Ive collected a list of best chocolate jokes for you. A chocolate shake. The boy looks over and responds, "My great grandfather lived to be one hundred and five". Love & Sex Can I have chocolate filling please?. Love is a substitute for chocolate. Betty Crocker. As much as chocolate, perhaps. There are many jokes about chocolate bars and chocolate cookies in our selection, so its a bit like opening a box of chocolates. Darling you are enough sweet for me. With much tutting, the dentist examined all her teeth. Baby, I badly wanted to be the drizzle to your banana and strawberries. I hope in all the stars that you and I will not have any expiration date. PayDay! It was Terry-vying.I like to break the rules once I had an After Eight at seven-thirty.Ive got three Mars bars, two Lion Bars, a Twix and a Flake. Girl: Well that's because He's a life saver! You could put all the sweets business if you will be consistently sweet like that. But chocolates chocolate. Arnold Ismach, The Darker Side of Chocolate. A Guyanese and a Jamaican walk into a store, the guyanese tief a chocolate bar and when they left the store he said "yuh see dat?" My love for you is like hot chocolate, I just cant hold on to it. Why didnt the cow produce any chocolate milk? Let's bake it happen! Its summertime, which means chocolate jokes are right up your alley if youre feeling the heat. I asked him where he got that from.He said, I always have a few Twix up my sleeve.Theyve unearthed a sarcophagus in Egypt filled with chocolate and nutsThe mummy was wrapped in gold foil, so they believe it is the legendary Pharaoh Rocher.I identify as a chocolate barMy pronouns are her/she.What kind of chocolate does the dryer like?Lindt Chocolate.A mummy covered in chocolate and hazelnuts has been discovered in EgyptArchaeologists and historians believe it must be Pharoah Roche. My Ex-Wife was like a box of chocolate. To get chocolate milk. Whos there? Why did the chocolate-hazelnut truffle stand out in a crowd? 107 Chocolate Jokes That Are Deliciously Funny! A man found a magic lamp on the beach. Im never a selfish person but when it comes to sharing you with other peopleI dont think so. So, Easter commemorates when Jesus hid eggs for the disciples to find, and then he turned all the rabbits into chocolate, right? Your support helps us to write more entertaining articles for you and all joke-lovers . Chocolate left in a car? Because she was a Her-She-y bar! Cao-cao! Nope, all outer space.. Ive called my dog Cadbury Research Department. Do you know why?Son: I dont know. In the Gateaux (ghetto)! ( Ice Cream Jokes) What one thing became more clear as you got older?. The divine drink, which builds up resistance and fights fatigue. What type of cookies do they eat in the Galaxy? Round at the bottom, skinny at the top. What is the opposite of Chocolate? Glazed and confused. I feel better already with you holding my hand, sweets arent even needed. The young man loved peanuts. - Chocolate doesn't make you pregnant. Stay out of those, said his wife, theyre for the funeral., A young girl was at the dentist for a check up. 75 FANTASTIC Baby Jokes That Are Undeniably Cute! I wont lie, it was a Rocky Road.A man is shipwrecked on a desert island. God is watching the apples. The tenth lies. 2. A pound a day often. Tap To Copy. 64460V@D1.UUCP (R Scott V Paterson) A man walks into the local ice cream parlor and tells the attendant he wants a gallon of vanilla, a gallon of strawberry and a gallon of chocolate ice cream. Cruller to be kind. - Gary Delaney. Because he was moo-dy! Q: What happens if you mix hot cacao and hot cocoa by hand? Chocolate-covered aunts.What kind of chocolate can you buy at the airport? Diabetes. You make my day complete just by getting a whiff of you. Required fields are marked *. If Bob has 30 chocolate bars and eats 25, what does he have? He asks the female whale "let's both get under the boat, blow air out of our air holes, and it might topple the ship.". Chocolate and kids together is a wild combination. You're the milk to my cookie. Needless to sayHe got his Snickers in a Twix.Two wafers fell into a vat of chocolate.The first one pulled the second one out.The second one said, Thanks, youre a lifesaver!The first one responded, Actually, Im a KitKat.I saw an article about people snorting chocolate powder for a rush.They wanted a Quik high. Dont you think you have got to check if you have diabetes? Cacao. Girl my taste buds almost always craves for chocolate but now it craves for you. In deaths agony, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite chocolate chip cookies wafting up the stairs. 10) Dirty Harry: A middle-aged septic tank maintenance man with an aversion to bathing and a love of off-color jokes is taken by surprise as his family and friends stage an intervention. Ah, chocolate: one of life's simple pleasures. You have this capability of making my taste buds so happy and I love that. Whats Boris Johnsons favourite chocolate bar? Bagel Jokes. Heres more compilation of incredibly delicious chocolate jokes for your amusement. The three best pleasures in life are scratching, sneezing and eating chocolate. Its a Ferrari Rocher.I heard a chocolate joke the other day, but it wasnt that funny and only got Snickers out of me.Life is like a box of chocolates full of nuts.A boy threw a milk chocolate bar at me. Finally he announced crossly Young lady, youve been eating far too many sweet things, several of your teeth need filling., Oh goody! she replied happily. - You can have chocolate in in public. I said, "Look you little Reese's Pieces, don't be a Zero, be a Lifesaver. There was a sign next to it saying, "what ever you wish for comes true once you slide down". Life is what you bake it. Mother to son: "I'm warning you. Look, theres no metaphysics on earth like chocolates. What do you get when you cross a red racing car, nuts, and chocolate? Sure enough, nine months later, out popped? Because I want to swallow every last drop of you. The alien sees that the pope has become irate at this fact and starts trying to rationalize "Maybe he likes our chocolate better than yours?" After she did it, I proceeded to eat it explaining that chocolate wasnt good for dogs. A Ferrari Rocher! He turned into a box of chocolates. They dont last long for fat people. Here are 50 funny Elf jokes, including Elf jokes for kids. The man replies, And he ate that much chocolate? What do parrots say when they see a candy bar? Research tells us fourteen out of any ten individuals likes chocolate. He rubbed it and out popped a genie, who gave the man three wishes. Mr. Good You brighten up my day like only drizzle on strawberries can. Are you Kit Kat, because I am going to break you and eat you. Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices and strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want! 4. If you will allow me I would like to consume you everyday because I like the taste of you. Bob Greene, Chocolate makes everyone smile-even bankers. Chocoearly. Because I would love to make up for if you let me. In order to post comments, please make sure JavaScript and Cookies are enabled, and reload the page. Then he wished for a convertible, and poof! I hope your having gelato fun on your birthday! I love silly, funny, nerdy, quirky jokes. He wheezed for a minute, then ordered a chocolate sundae. French cleric, 1620, Just think of all the wonderful blessings youve been given. Because I want you to spread for my satisfaction tonight. What do you call Chewbacca when he has chocolate stuck in his hair? How about we get some Titty Roll in the sheets. Copyright 2023 O-hand.com. One smart cookie. Babe, you are definitely not M&M, because you are melting by my fingers. What do you call a womanising chocolate? The man wished for a million dollars, and poof! Ill eat anything! Chocolate has also been called the food of the devil, but the theological basis of this claim is obscure. Whats nice and petite, with chocolate in the middle? You look like you could use some hot chocolate Well, I got some sweet white chocolate. How do you know it's cold outside? What kind of candy is never on time? Hey can you accompany me? Norman Hollenberg, M.D., Ph.D., Harvard Medical School, Chocolate contains large amounts of the same beneficial plant chemicals that now have burnished the reputation of tea. mi tief three chocolate bars. Because I see me filling you up with my nuts. The third kid went down and said, "Weeeeeeee . Hot fudge fills deep needs. Who's there? Dear Star Wars, let us count the reasons we love you. Hot chocolate. No, he answered. Plane Chocolate! A marsbar! Lucy Van Pelt, Peanuts, Biochemically, love is just like eating large amounts of chocolate. Let's hit the road ladies and gents: #1. Plump lady to the waitress: Id like Death by Chocolate for dessert, but only enough to put me in critical condition. Check it out. When the old man returns, the young man feels guilty and confesses to his crime. I saw a joke about chocolate bars but it wasn't that funny So I just snickered. Chocolate is a serious thing! Andrew Weil, M.D. They had a baby, Ruth. I'm just happy to see you. What do you get when you dip a kitten in chocolate? You make everything taste better just like cocoa. You are like a box full of sweet that I cannot get hands off. Bad knees.. Kids these days are so stupid. C? Making this ice cream sundae will take up gelato my time! If I eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate, is that a balanced diet? my favorite is the m&m racist oe lol why are there no white m&ms. Lindt.A man said to the chocolate maker, Are you a magician?No, said the chocolate maker, but I do have a couple of Twix up my sleeve.Last night in jail the prisoners were given mint chocolates for dessert. What do you call an avalanche of marshmallows, nuts, and chocolate? Deborah Fox-Rothschild. Chocolate Ice Cream. I promise Ill make you forget all the bad things this day brought by being your stash if sweet. You definitely taste better than chocolate. Jokes4us.com Privacy Policy, submissons by: geovannebiggs, rpickford109, Mistisanders, Theodorkrueger, 810841252, kristine12, luketuffs10, Smanning1818, sophiathebest, sony8877, no1puppyhugger, Steveandde, lidaisy55. 3. Were it not for deaths agony, he would have thought himself already in heaven: there, spread out on the kitchen table, were hundreds of his favorite chocolate chip cookies. There was a convertible. The little boy looks over and responds, My great grandfather lived to be 105. There are four basic food groups: milk chocolate, dark chocolate, white chocolate, and chocolate truffles. What kind of candy bar does an employee crave before the weekend? The jamaican mon said "check the guyanese pockets and yuh find all three a dem" When it's the pope's turn, he asks: "Do you know about our lord and savior Jesus Christ?" I would like to be your stash of food that can give you comfort whenever you are sad. 0 Laughs. Mom: Fred, there were two chocolate cakes in the larder yesterday, and now theres only one. They had a baby, Ruth. The star of the family friendly "Full House" and "Fuller House" series and host of the even more G-rated "America's . Whether dark, milk or white, chocolate is satisfying and decadent. - You can GET chocolate. My final hope for a smokin' hot body! Your email address will not be published. Hernando Corts, 1519, If you are not feeling well, if you have not slept, chocolate will revive you. the cashier said " sure" "hand me a chocolate bar" he ate it. See you in the Email! I donut want to glaze over the fact that I like you a hole lot. But she ate every letter in her name and left me with COCOA. To bake Star Wars bread, you have to use the bicarbonate of Yoda. I can definitely make an adjustment for you. In yet another Laugh Factory gaffe in July 2012, Daniel Tosh found himself the subject of intense public pressure after joking about a gang rape. Are you Kit Kat, because I am going to break you and eat you. I like a piece every day. What is the meaning of life? Why did the blonde buy a brown cow? Donut be jelly. The man sitting next to him looks over and says, "Eating that many chocolate bars are bad for you.". He rubs it and a genie appears. I mean, at his age what will it do for him?" Which is a chocoholics favorite kind of party? Baby I am only tempted by two things: you and chocolate. Dont fight with me over chocolate because I am not someone to be truffled with! What kind of candy bar does an employee crave before the weekend? You have this effect on me I only feel upon eating chocolate. Lick my fingers like you could not get enough of me like you do to your sweets. They had a baby, Ruth. Why is a Toblerone triangular? Chocolate is a Vegetable: chocolate is derived from cocoa beans. So we've rounded up 30+ of the best chocolate jokes, puns, useless facts, and one-liners you . The day after when all the chocolate goes on sale. 3.14159265. I am craving for you more than I am craving for hot chocolate. @. Shock-o-lat. Peter Rogers, Ph.D., Institute of Food Research. Why did people make white chocolate? - You don't get hairs in your mouth with chocolate. What is an astronauts favorite chocolate? Sandra Boynton, Chocolate: the Consuming Passion, Carob is a brown powder made from the pulverized fruit of a Mediterranean evergreen. Carbon-Holmium-Cobalt-Lanthanum-Tellurium or CHoCoLaTe. ", responds the alien. ", I live for it. You can also listen to t. Hahaha They're better at it than guys. Im not overweight, just chocolate enriched. What's the difference between kinky and perverted? What does a person with no arms say when trying to eat a Hersheys Kiss? 2. . For their dessert, most French cats like the chocolate mousse. 66 Frozen Yogurt and Ice Cream Pick Up Lines, 147 Deli Pick Up Lines (Meat Cold Cut, Cheese, Bread, Sandwich). Take a closer look at the list of short chocolate jokes! The best of all worlds. What does it do before it rains candy? - Geronimo Piperni, quoted by Antonio Lavedn, surgeon in the Spanish army, 1796. Sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips. A Butterfinger! You have this ability to make me so happy like only sweet foods can do. You can taek-won-do.Why is the Toblerone chocolate shaped like a triangle?So that itll fit inside the box.In case you were wondering, chocolate identifies as female.Preferred pronouns are Her/she.I ordered a chocolate clock from Amazon a few months ago and it hasnt arrived yet.Boy, its taking its sweet time getting here.People always ask me how I sneak chocolate into the cinema.WellIve got a few Twix up my sleeve.I once saw Arnold Schwarzenegger eating a chocolate egg.I said to him, I bet I could guess your favourite holiday!He replied, Have to love Easter, baby.Crazy ex-girlfriends are like a box of chocolates.Theyll kill your dog.I love chocolate.Hard candy is for suckers.I put my friends chocolate bars in different wrappers. The man replies, "And he ate that much chocolate?". It sprinkles! Don't bite off more than you can chew, unless its chocolate. Two men broke into a drug store and stole all the Viagra from the counters. If you are a candy bar I promise I would refuse to share you with other people. They actually believe Ive got chocolate in my van. We share them in our weekly newsletter. I saw Miss Hershey standing behind the Powerhouse on the corner of Clark and Fifth Avenue when I whipped out my Whopper and whispered, "Hey Sweetheart, how'd you like to Crunch on my big hunk for a Million Dollar Bar?" "Don't worry, son. What is a French cat's favorite dessert? I am a serious chocoholic. - Chocolate Joke [2] Jokes 4 Us - Chocolate Joke [3] Fun Kids Jokes - Chocolate Joke [4] Worst Jokes Ever - Chocolate Joke [5] MyTownTutors - Chocolate Joke [6] SuperJokes - Chocolate Joke [7] Ireland Calling - Chocolate Joke Why didnt the cow produce any chocolate milk?Because he was moo-dy!Which chocolate candy bar is a cats favorite?A Kit Kat!What do you call an avalanche of marshmallows, nuts, and chocolate?A rocky road!What do parrots say when they see a candy bar?Cao-cao! Oleg Kiselev, Caramels are only a fad. He also suggested cocoa butter for skin treatment, piles and gout. Cao-cao!On a cold and gray Chicago mornin where was another little baby chocolate bar born?In the Gateaux (ghetto)!What do you get when you cross a red racing car, nuts, and chocolate?A Ferrari Rocher!Why did the chocolate-hazelnut truffle stand out in a crowd?He was nutty!What type of cookies do they eat in the Galaxy?Chocolate Chewbacca cookies!Which candy bar is handsome, talented, rich, and lacks for nothing?A Bounty-ful!Which candy bar always gets picked first for the sports team?A Skor!What do three men and fluffy nougat covered in chocolate have in common?3 Musketeers!Which is the clumsiest candy bar?A Butterfinger!What kind of jokes do funny chocolate bars not crack?Ones about Easter eggs theyre morbid!Which is a chocoholics favorite kind of party?One thats choco-lit!What do you get when you cross beer with a chocolate bar?A Choco-Light!Why did the candy bar cross the road?Because he was choco-LATE for the bus!What chocolate bar never laughs at jokes?Snickers he only snickers!What do you call an extra sweet cookie?A chocolate chip cutie!What do you get when you enrobe a sheep in chocolate?A candy baaaaa-r!Why was the candy bar confused?Because she was a Her-She-y bar!What occasion do cute chocolate bars look forward to all month?PayDay! Never eat more chocolate than you can lift. A: ao! What kind of candy is never on time? He had a chip in his tooth. Your email address will not be published. Your email address will not be published. Cadbury is an international chocolate brand that is loved by many. I'm chocolate to my appointment! please reply can we share on our website?? Whether you like it dark, milk, or white, there is something so satisfying and decadent about enjoying some chocolate.But aside from being delicious, chocolate can also be funny. 1. Girl, I love how you melt this hard chocolate bar with your mouth, perhaps you can melt something else tonight. Are you a chocolate bunny, because I want to nibble on your ears first than eat you full. There are two types of people in this world: People who love chocolate and liars.