insecure wife ruining marriage insecure wife ruining marriage

By seriously Jealousy is not an emotion that can be banished with wishful thinking. // Leaf Group Lifestyle. But here, we focus on another fact a secure wife understands that she does not have to physically need her beloved husband all the time. As a person, you may have risen above this. 5 She is reluctant to see you spend time with others: Has your wife ever made you feel guilty or ashamed for spending time with others, even though you just spent a little time with others? As a writer at Marriage.com, she is a big believer in living consciously and encourages couples to adopt this principle in their lives too. If your partner finds out about your schemes, then he might leave you for doing this. All rights reserved. Contrary to what we expect, insecure people dont present themselves as weak people. Don't try to make him happy, don't try to make it up to him. take nothing personally. Work on building trust with your mate and creating goals around getting to know yourself better. Find a hobby or something that you find enjoyable so you can turn your energy into something productive. As a result, your relationship may become very toxic, leading to an insecure husband ruining your marriage. However, it is rare to see an insecure wife admit her mistakes to her husband; instead, she is inclined to mask their faults and flaws or deny their existence. others is a reflection of ourselves. How do you define insecurity in a relationship? She's the co-author of The Everything Great Marriage Book. If you were hurt in the past, its normal to have some fears about a recurrence, but remind yourself that your current spouse is not your former partner. Here are 6 cardinal signs of insecurity in a relationship. I want out. Every time the child is in some kind of need or crisis, he turns to this person. The only way to stop yourself from doing this is by nurturing other relationships in your life, and not making your romantic relationship the epicentre of your world. Tyrrell suggests that you work at assuring yourself that things are fine. Even with lovemaking, a person with insecurities wont be able to get intimate or enjoy the love they should be sharing. At the start of a relationship, there should be trust. VerticalScope Inc., 111 Peter Street, Suite 600, Toronto, Ontario, M5V 2H1, Canada. Being insecure in a relationship can be addicting. When it comes to achieving goals, this might be a positive thing (although it can get in the way of achieving goals too). When an insecure wife is unsatisfied with her own space, she naturally wants to jump more into her husbands world. Again, although sometimes her jealousy is justified, most of the time, it roots from a deep sense of insecurity. All those nights she was stayed at work till 11 at work I never once thought let me snoop on her. Or, does the relationship have trust issues due to infidelity? For emotionally healthy people, they can derive satisfaction from a lot of areas of life, and a marital relationship is just one of the main sources. Together, the couple discusses the issue rationally and comes to an agreement on how to move forward. Insecurity can cause you to see visions of the past overlaid on the reality of the present. 1 Insecurity can be a painful and difficult emotion to experience. Its so hard to learn how to handle insecurity in a relationship when you dont trust anyone. You can blame me forever for destroying your self esteem We both know what you did while pregnant with both kids. We met when she was just turning 21. , they might develop a scheme just to feel better. Insecurity is a major cause of controlling behavior. 5 tips on how to make your husband feel loved and respected, What a healthy marriage looks like How to maintain a marriage. Signs of insecurity in a woman or a man must be spotted to salvage the relationship. Although, sometimes it's simply jumping to the wrong conclusions because the mind tends to make everything about us. It could be something as innocent as going to a different room in the house to have a conversation on the phone because the reception is poor, or something as simple as not wanting to have sex because of overpowering feelings of exhaustion the triggers for feelings of insecurity in relationships are often external, and superficial. You hate them for not telling you the truth, but is there something to tell? The words like I couldnt have lived without you are often regarded as a romantic gesture. Don't abandon the marriage for fear that the past could repeat itself. Sometimes jealous people struggle with physical reactions like trembling, dizziness, depression, and having trouble sleeping. That's my life. So when you feel the compulsive need to explode, armed with all your investigation and sarcastic comebacks, come back a few steps. . Insecurity in relationships can alter your thoughts. How to rekindle sexual intimacy when your wife becomes a roommate, 2010-2023 Parenting.FirstCry.com. You feel your partner is a flirt and that this person is not loyal to you. So once you realize that your woman dives all into your relationship too soon, you had better keep a lookout. How to deal with an emotionally distant husband Make him open up, You need to get help right away before things spiral out of control. If you dont recognize the signs of insecurity in a relationship with it, it can slowly ruin your relationship and love. The Harsh Truth About Social Media and Relationships Codependency, The next time you get into an argument with your partner about their actual whereabouts, try and remind yourself that if your mate has never given you a reason to doubt them, stop doing so. Whos having a hard time with this situation? It may not be evident at first, but you manifest signs of insecurity as you go deeper into your relationship. , approximately one in three divorces result from disagreements related to social media. Therefore, by ruining your self-esteem, she thinks that you are more likely to be with you eventually. Being insecure or having a poor self-image Fearing abandonment or betrayal Feeling intense possessiveness or a desire for control Having a misguided sense of ownership over a partner Having unrealistic expectations about relationships in general Maintaining unrealistic expectations of a partner Turn your focus and detective energies elsewhere! Behaviours and/or actions only prove to be a trigger point that dig out insecurities from within. It is necessary to have some open and frank conversations about sensitive issues in a relationship. A forum community dedicated to married life between you and your spouse. To this, your partner might compromise and block his ex. I never chose porn over my wife. Your insecurities in marriage may or may not be warranted, but they create unhealthy behaviors regardless of your reasoning. Envy is about comparing yourself to others and coming up short, while jealousy involves insecurity and feeling threatened. If you are regularly defending yourself against your partner's unreasonable or accusatory questions, that is a red flag. For instance, do you struggle with self-esteem or are you afraid your partner will leave you? The more you entertain the thoughts, the bigger the insecurity becomes. There can be more and more toxic, leaving the other end exhausted. If you are insecure and doubtful, you look for affirmation and reassurance, and sometimes, you catch them cheating. Part 1: When you purchase through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission, which supports our community. It is quite normal for a wife to have feelings of insecurity once in a while. I stopped looking at porn more than a year ago. But, sadly, this communication almost never happens for most couples. Grab Wedding Month Deals on Marriage Courses! If you respond to everything, she may take everything personally. Believe that you partner's support and love are unconditional until proven otherwise, suggests Sandra Murray, Ph.D. in an article on Psychology Today. You need to analyze why youre not happy. This holy grail of. Even though a couple has lived together in a committed relationship for many years, they need to make enough room for each others personal space; yet a long-term marriage is based on mutual needs, instead of only one sides needs. For this reason, if you are experiencing overwhelming jealousy that is interfering with the health of the relationship, it is important to find a therapist or counselor to help you understand why the jealousy exists. So she may feel insecure about the fact that you can derive pleasure from someone else other than her. Misery loves company as an insecure wife, she will try to bring you down to her level. Did either of your parents cheat on their partner? "Why is my husband so insecure and jealous?" "How to deal with an insecure partner?" "My husband is insecure. not. I have lived with this too long. In other words, you are open to considering what she wants you to change, By putting up all these tests, even if your partner loves you so much, they are bound to realize that their efforts are never enough. So work on identifying the root cause of your insecurity, and then work on rooting it out of your system. What Actions Can I Do to Rebuild Trust How to Restore Trust in a Relationship What to Do When You've Falsely Accused How to Handle Emotional Abuse from Your How to Renew a Marriage After Two Years Rev. Try and also help your partner to realise by themselves that their insecurity is baseless! How to deal with your mans ego The male ego in marriage, husbands tend to display this behavior more than wives. She wants honesty and then makes it about herself. You are responsible for your happiness. We been together almost 14 years, married 10 in May. They also do not cheat on their spouses. That said, being consumed by every new like on your mates photos or keenly aware of anyone having conversations with them is no way to live. What to do when your husband is not affectionate towards you, However, the desire to be perfect might negatively impact your self-worth every time you make a mistake, you beging to lose your own credibility in your own mind. To go on staying with your insecure wife, you have to walk on eggshells whenever you are around her. Even if a couple stays together happily for the whole life, death will also tear them apart ultimately; this is an unpleasant thing but this is real life. 11 She doesnt want to talk about the relationship honestly: What we see in If you start feeling insecure in a relationship, it would be hard for you to go back. Intuition is the power of your brain to know things without knowing why. Instead of going straight to your mates device, you obsessively check their social media. Having said that, the easiest way to comfort a man is throughpositive reaffirmations. 1. However, she is always aware that she would do anything to keep you. Wouldnt it be unfair to your partner and his peers? How will that make you feel? However, if a man goes out to meet someone without reporting it to his wife in time, an insecure wife may easily feel threatened in the relationship, even though it is totally unconnected to extramarital affairs, for example, a man just went out with his friends of the same sex to play sports, but his woman may inexplicably feel insecure. Insecurity roots in a lack of self-esteem. The best way to do that is to find a counselor or a therapist who can help you learn to manage your jealousy in healthy ways. However, this does not mean that it is correct. JavaScript is disabled. We have son on the autism spectrum. For instance, you both may agree that limiting contact with a flirtatious co-worker is important for the health of the relationship. And NO,do not immediately provide solutions or try to solver her problemsunless she asks you to. Over time, the marital relationship becomes more and more important for her, but meanwhile, other necessary relationships matter less and less to her. No doubt, it is harmful to both marriage development and personal development. Stop complaining about what you don't havestart enjoying what you do have. Psychologically speaking, fear guides many of our instincts and behavioural tendencies: we store food in the house because we fear we may not get any later, we put helmets on our heads and fasten seat-belts because we fear death, and we run away from confrontations because we fear hurting and/or losing people. Say these things with conviction. If a woman is overly If your partner flirts, you got yourself an issue. Do you know why you are hurting so much? Does this sound tiring? Insecurities can also be caused by comparing yourself with your partners exes or feeling inferior to your partners achievements. Regardless of how happy a love relationship is, a woman may have insecurity over her man loving her when he seems angry or distant, she may fear it is about her. Was I in a sexless marriage at its worseyes. 2013;3(1):215824401347605. doi:10.1177/2158244013476054, Nummenmaa L, Glerean E, Hari R, Hietanen JK. Insecurity in relationships can lead to the end of it. , texting his co-workers and friends to see if hes telling the truth, and spend hours thinking about what lies he told you and what he is doing. However, chronic insecurity can be toxic to a marriage; maybe your marriage is also being strained by your wifes insecurity, and you must have encountered a lot of marital problems and challenges in this relationship, and sometimes you may hold a shallow and near-sighted view on what your wife did to you. One sign that you are insecure in marriage is if you demand access to your spouses electronic devices such as phone, tablet, or social media accounts. After all, you are in a. , and you dont want someone else breaking what you have built. This fear seems warranted when you have been through a rough patch with your partner where perhaps they did lose your trust. doi:10.2174/1745017901006010053, Attridge M. Jealousy and relationship closeness: exploring the good (reactive) and bad (suspicious) sides of romantic jealousy. Dont abandon the marriage for fear that the past could repeat itself. 6 Signs You Are Insecure in Your Relationship Before we try to understand why we feel insecure in relationships, let's first identify whether or not we are insecure in the first place. And yet everybody will accept having behaved foolishly (or have been at the receiving end of such behaviour) at some point in their relationships because they felt threatened. Distinguish between fiction and reality, realizing that many of your fears will never materialize. Did some boyfriend some time in high-school cheat on you? I towed the line enough. Key points. Ask questions. 6 tips on rebuilding trust after infidelity How to rebuild trust after an affair, Another family, older lady with young daughter ask my to take a picture of them. So you try to always feel better than your partner like they hit the jackpot, and should be thanking their stars they found you! 2023 Dotdash Media, Inc. All rights reserved. What if youre accusing these people just because of an experience? Why Am I So Insecure? and you dont take everything that she said personally. When she defaults to getting defensive towards you, what you say or do to her may be perceived as criticism or punishment to her, even though you have no intention of hurting her. Both partners should feel loved, respected, and secure in a relationship. There will be times when you need reassurance from your partner. Talk About Family, Marriage and Relationships, "It is by going down into the abyss that we recover the treasures of life. The easiest way to ease your wife out of her pain is to make her feel heard. How to understand controlling behavior in marriage. She goes to work, comes straight home. Weve all been there young, single, and crushing on someone whom we thought waswaaayout of our league! Here are 6 cardinal signs of insecurity in a relationship. Either way, you ruin your relationship. You dont love me?. This sneaky emotion seems entirely justified while you are in the moment, but it is not worth ruining a great relationship over. Wouldnt it be beautiful to trust each other because you are in love? How to deal with a spouses emotional affair, (Technically, youdoknow why, but only on a subconscious level not everybody can retrieve these thoughts. This is going to be a recipe for disaster for any relationship not just romantic relationships! What to do when your husband fails you Keep him committed, Irrational or excessive jealousy is often a warning sign of a potentially abusive relationship. I go to work and I come straight home. Soon, you realize that youre stalking his social media, texting his co-workers and friends to see if hes telling the truth, and spend hours thinking about what lies he told you and what he is doing. Hence, if you cant let your spousestop being controlling in the marriage, the relationship tends to deteriorate. Insecurity in relationships is common. If you realize that her insecurity is sabotaging your marriage and you need more tips on how to fix the problematic marriage, you might go on to watch the video below to follow the comprehensive marriage-saving guidance that is offered by Brad Browning, a marriage coach with 12+ years of experience: In this video, Ill reveal to you how those married couples stay together for tens of yearsand still feel that connection, love, and unbreakable desire for each other 3 key steps to remain happily married. 2021;24(7):444-449. doi:10.1089/cyber.2020.0669, Marazziti D, Consoli G, Albanese F, Laquidara E, Baroni S, Catena Dell'Osso M. Romantic attachment and subtypes/dimensions of jealousy. Read through and see if you possess some of the characteristics of a person who is unsure of their partners love and loyalty. changes where necessary. "For those who experience abnormal jealousy, the emotion sets up a self-fulfilling prophecy. Overcoming insecurity in relationships is a lonely battle. And yet, we do very little to understand whats really happening when we feel insecure. However, a lot of jealousy is overwhelming and scary, especially because it can lead to dangerous behaviors like stalking, digital dating violence, and physical abuse. Accusing of deleting things from a silly site like bar stool sports. It can be a defense mechanism to mask deep insecurity in some cases. You have time to change. You shouldn't have apologized for those things in the first place, you did nothing wrong. Guilty as charged. Yes fellas, these are legit things many women feel insecure about. But, there is a point where this healthy jealousy turns into consuming insecurity. If an insecure wife is unhappy with her own individual life before marriage, she may have the thought of completely merging with her husbands life after marriage. A parent's conspicuous and continual assessment of a son's or daughter's spouse can form the bedrock of conflict between in-laws. Theres emotional intimacy where you can tell your partner anything and everything. You know that you place a priority on him and your relationship together and that you are sensitive to his concerns about the time you spend with your close friends. Even she may ask you to make one choice between them and her, and that may be really a dilemma. 4 She needs Most people will turn to their partners when they feel low. When jealousy is intense or irrational, the story is very different. considering the truth of her complaints or suggestions, you choose to make Have confidence in your marriage and extend that confidence to your wife. Gradually, you may feel like she is deliberately trying to turn everything into high drama when interacting with her. If my partner never does anything that triggers my insecurity, then I won't feel insecure!" As we all know, a healthy marital relationship should be like a Venn diagram both sides maintain each others individual life, but there is also a significant overlap at the same time. What causes an excellent relationship to turn sour and be filled with doubts? You may start getting intrusive thoughts that your partner, who you love the most, may find someone better than you. How to fight fair with your spouse Fight in a healthy way, Because of an insecure wifes stubbornness and irresponsibility when facing relationship issues related with her insecurity, she may deliberately refuse to admit her mistakes; so she can not draw a lesson from them, and she is very likely to repeat those mistakes; this creates extra difficulties in moving the marriage forward. How to gain your wifes trust back Regain your lost trust, After all, at the early stage, you may not know your wife well enough, and you cant exactly foresee what will happen in the rest of your marriage life; plus, at that stage, probably you are so addicted to her that you fail to attentively notice.